swift. silent. i forget what comes next.

so, that one library book about the osprey and the other one about the iraq war? even after renewing them, i still managed to avoid finishing them by re-reading the first two salander books and then some old-school trek novels i had lying around. apparently the vulcan academy murders and web of the romulans are more enticing than actual book-learnin. what is it with me and nonfiction, seriously, this is why i was so bad at school. bah.

i woke up this morning with a perfect bedhead fauxhawk, it was awesome. i also managed somehow to flick some minty-fresh toothpaste into my eye, not awesome. IT BURNS.

also, PURPLE RHINOCEROS! frostfire_17, you light up my life. ♥ ♥ ♥

okay, this conversation right here perfectly illustrates the gaping chasm of difference between me and my sister.

me: oh god, i think i've run out of room in my bookcases.
sis: i guess it's time to get rid of some books.
me: uh, no. it's time to get some more bookcases.

GET RID OF BOOKS. WHAT. WHAT. HOW DO WE SHARE BLOOD. DDD:

happy birthday, defaultlyric!

you are awesomesauce personified, babydoll, and i hope you have a lovely day with delicious cake and exciting shenanigans and sparkly balloons. GIANT HUGS!

so i had the weirdest weird dream last night about being accosted by this vaguely child-molestery guy who totally looked like rami malek aka snafu on the pacific, which is a show i don't even watch, btw, but he is so gloriously creepy, i kind of love him. so he was, like, chasing me through the streets in his creeper leisure suit (i don't even know) and i'm running and running and he won't leave me alone, and then just as i'm about to pass out and fall over or whatever, john cooper blows in, beats rami malek down super-hard, gives me a hug, and leaves. and i swear to god i was standing there IN THE DREAM in the middle of the street thinking to myself WTF WTF. then i woke up and had a MIGHTY NEED to read some southland fic.

what the ever-loving hell is wrong with my brain, i don't even know. D:

this post is brought to you by my vague and gnawing sense of guilt over not posting here often enough. unfortunately i don't really have that much to say and/or the ability to be coherent at this time, so it will be in list form.

bad

my neck hurts and i've needed a backrub for, like, three months. i would honestly choke a bitch for a serious hour-long massage.

i still have the zombie head cold and it WILL NOT GO AWAY.

i dropped my phone in the toilet last week (no really) and now the battery tends to last for maybe a day before pooping out.

that pun was honestly not intended. fml.

my fitness levels are pretty much still crap. dead-hang pull-ups continue to hate my face, don't talk to me about push-ups, and i cannot seem to shave time off my two-mile to save my life, UGH RUNNING WHY ARE YOU SO HARD. DDD:

SIX. FUCKING. MONTHS. YOU GUYS. i am d-facing all over the place.

good

all scheduled weddings requiring my participation are now over. hooray!

my genderswap crackbaby is coming along SOOO SLOOOOWLY. almost 3000 words now! a record!

just found out the frederick festival of the arts is this weekend and i am on that like a motherfucker. moto, dude!

getting a haircut today. i needs it.

it is strawberry season and i have an ice cream maker. 'nuff said.

i have at least six months to pummel myself back into shape. WHAT I AM TRYING TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE HERE.

books
i have the following books to finish before they are due back at the library in two weeks:

The Dream Machine: The Untold History of the Notorious V-22 Osprey by Richard Whittle. kind of exactly what it says on the tin, with a history of helicopters, military aviation, and the marine corps thrown in. a little dry so far, but interesting.

Kaboom: Embracing the Suck in a Savage Little War by Matt Gallagher. haven't started it yet, but omg the title, i had to get it.

The God of the Hive by Laurie R. King. about half-way through; it is melodramatic but quite exciting. also there is a hermit character with green eyes and a ~mysterious past~, he is my favorite.

will i finish them i don't know! i also need to finish One Bullet Away but i keep stopping because it makes me feel inadequate or whatever. jesus, nate fick, why are you so amazing and perfect, it is like looking into the sun.

THE END.

Tags: bitch bitch, books, get in ur pt gear we're running currahee

just broke 2200 words on something which is as of yet untitled but bears the more than vaguely horrifying file name of lol genderswap.txt.

jesus. what is wrong with my life. D:

so i made this lemon silk pie today. and, not to toot my own horn or anything, but i swear to god, eating it was like having the magical glittery offspring of lemons and sugar jizz rainbows and happiness in my mouth. it was incredible, like, the pinnacle of pie. IT WAS PIE NIRVANA. UNF.

so yeah, that recipe's a keeper.

in other news, i am so frustrated with [REDACTED!], you guys, jesus christ. i just heard from [REDACTED!] today that i'm going to have to wait another month and a half until i'm done with [REDACTED!], then call him to let him know, then wait ANOTHER SIX MONTHS before the relevant people can even look over [REDACTED!]. i mean, i know i said i didn't mind waiting to get in, but this is a lot of time to invest when i don't even know if i'm going to get a "yes" at the end of it. BUT WHATEVER, I WILL HURRY UP AND WAIT ANYWAY, WHAT ELSE CAN I DO. D:

so i am totally stressed out over how work is kind of super frustrating lately, and also mostly over [REDACTED!]. not helping with the stress and/or MASSIVE FREAKING OUT is the fact that i really really really don't want to talk about [REDACTED!] with anyone until after the fact (hopefully next week?) lest i jinx it but i'm really worried it's not going to work out. like, this not working out would be a quadruple body-slam of disappointment, BUT NO BIGGIE. DDDD: also, i need various items of paperwork and everyone is dragging their asses on it and i might pop a blood vessel or something.

so. um. in conclusion, I KNOW THIS WAS TOTALLY INCOHERENT BUT SEND ME MEANINGLESS STOCK COMFORTING PHRASES ANYWAY, INTERNET, THEY WILL BE APPRECIATED. D:

also, regarding the poll i posted previously, YOU GUYS ARE SO WRONG. batman may be the motherfucking batman, but brad colbert is, like, an impeccably trained seven-foot-tall ice-cold ninja killing machine. IT WOULD BE A VERY CLOSELY FOUGHT BATTLE ROYALE, OKAY, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PREDICT WHO WOULD COME OUT ON TOP. D:

omg i have shooooooes, like, a bajillion (five) pairs of new shoooooes. i don't know when i turned into my sisters but it's like i have some sort of craving for CUTE SHOES now, it's kind of sick. right now i'm wearing fake swedish uggs (fuggs?) and i hate that i love them because they make me feel like an emo hipster asshole but they're sooo comfy and warm. they may be my second favorite thing to ever come out of sweden, right in between ikea and alexander skarsgård. REVOLTING.

but anyway, holiday recap! on christmas eve: i put together a plastic tricycle (harder than it should have been), my sister threw up a lot, and we watched inglourious basterds. on christmas day: we destroyed like thirty trees worth of wrapping paper (seriously, the ripping and the tearing, it was like zombies devouring the flesh of the living; hooorrible), my sister wandered around looking all corpsified and gross and refusing to go to bed, we did way too many loads of dishes, and we watched inglourious basterds again. it is my new favorite christmas movie and i need to buy it because i am totally fascinated by hugo stiglitz, it's kind of messed up. he's so dreamy, i could watch him stab gestapo officers in the face ALL DAY.

people seemed to like what i got them (happy!) and i got a pretty weird assortment of loot (new showerhead whaat, rug made out of a sheep), but it was all stuff that i wanted, including the gen kill dvd box set. i may have squealed and clutched it to my chest when i unwrapped it, it's so beautiful. i'm going to have to have a band of brothers/gen kill marathon session someday soon, it's going to be fucking epic. so christmas was good. you know, except for the vomiting. :(

SEKRIT MESSAGE TIEM! defaultlyric: ♥ ♥ ♥! shaun and ed are the cutest fucking things i have ever seen, i LOVE it. HART.

also i just watched "up" and i am not ashamed to say that i cried like a little girl. SO GOOD.